Lately we've been posting fun recipes, celebrations, and getting to know a little bit more about the ladies behind the blogging. But there's something I've been wanting to get off my chest, so I'm diving into a mommy confession. Being the oldest of five kids (ok, if you haven't figured out that I'm the oldest the secrets out :) sharing was a natural thing and came with the territory. I have no problem sharing clothes, shoes, jewelry, makeup, folding chairs, baby gadgets, you know material things. My problem lies with sharing events and experiences, and only when it comes to my son. I don't mean sharing these special times with him, but sharing him during these special times. Don't get me wrong, I truly want him to have great memories with his grandparents, great grandpop's, aunts, uncles, and our close friends, but it's been hard for me to share him and willing give him up.
I'm not referring to just a casual visit with my sister or one of my friends wanting to pick him up and hold him. My struggle seems to be with all of these first experiences with him. You know, first Christmas, Easter, first visit to the zoo, first time at the beach. I can't even imagine how I am going to be on his first birthday. I like to think that I don't make it too obvious that it's bothering me. I do let people hold him and pass him around, but internally I'm sad to hand him over. I know everyone wants to share in the joy but I guess I just wish that people would realize these are also our first experiences with him too. Ok, this probably sounds pretty bad right?
I'm really not trying to be selfish nor do I want to be, but this has been a little bit of a struggle for me. I never thought I would be this way since sharing was never an issue. I think because this is a new feeling for me it's also making the situation harder. I want to be able to teach my son to share, not only materialistic things, but love, experiences and emotions with others. I know I can't keep him all to myself but for some reason these first experiences really hit me hard. I find myself wanting to give him an extra hug or wanting to take just one more picture with him during these special times.
I also think that when people would say, oh they grow up so fast or it goes by so quickly, it was something I could never imagine until he was here. It is such a true statement! He just turned 8 months yesterday and while they have been the most amazing 8 months of my life, they have also gone by faster than I ever thought. I recently read a pin on Pinterest that said, there are only 940 Saturday's between your child's birth and when they leave for college. That's not a lot! I want to cherish all the special moments with him as much as possible, but I also want to be the best loving, caring, and sharing mom that I can be. I keep going back to two scripture verses that are helping me to ease up on my sharing problem. I would love to hear from Mom's who may have gone through something similar or words of encouragement to help me get over my selfish hump.
"Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God" Hebrews 13:6.
"Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others" Philippians 2:3-4.