What I've Learned Since Becoming a Mother

Today I'm joining several other amazing bloggers to share more about our experiences as mothers in celebration of mother's day to come. I think it's a true understatement that being a mom is the hardest job in the world. 

Boy oh boy, was I clueless before I actually had my own kids. I'm the oldest of five and in a way always kind of felt like a second mom to my sister and brothers. I thought for sure that gave me some sort of advantage and I could handle having my own. I mean, I can handle them, but it's certainly different being on point twenty-four-seven. I shared before 7 goals that every mom should have for herself and that time momming caught up to me. We all have our moments, and if anything, this motherhood journey is a constant learning experience.

I feel like there are so many things I've learned since becoming a mom that it's almost hard to put into words. Of course the ever obvious ones are experiencing love, and joy, and all the happiness that I am so blessed and thankful to experience on a daily basis. But there's also a lot of sides to motherhood that not everyone discusses that I think being transparent sometimes can be a healthy thing for all of us. So here we go...


I feel bad writing this because I know there are so many women out there who are struggling and trying their hardest to start a family or complete their family. I've experienced some struggles, loss, and with every hardship it makes me even more appreciative for the the two blessings I do have. My heart goes out to those that are wondering if it will ever happen for them or for those that no longer have their mother's around. Every time I hear something like that it makes me hug my boys a little harder. I try to be so appreciative even on those crazy-hard-tantrum-throwing-food-ending-up-on-the-floor kind of days.


I've always been a smiley kind of person. Not like a weirdo where I just stare and smile at you, but you know, like friendly. If I see someone in the hallway at work, I'm an I'll smile and say good morning kind of person. Anyway, being a mom brings a whole new meaning to smiling. You find yourself smiling at the most random things. Little nugget draws a picture that he's so excited about and tells you, look it's a dinosaur, mama! But when you look down at that paper it's nothing but a squiggly line, but the best squiggly line dinosaur you've ever seen in your entire life and you can't help but smile and think your kid is destine to be the next Picasso. 


I don't think it's ever intentional but at some point we experience a sense of pride (as we should). Like when you hear that your child helped another kid in class or did something above and beyond, you can't help but feel proud and know that maybe you are doing something right. 


I don't want to start anything here because everyone's marriages are different, but I recently heard a comment made that someone would leave her husband in a heartbeat because her kids come first. Now of course if it was an abusive or unhealthy relationship, then mama do what you need to do. For me, I love my kids more than anything, but it's a completely different love than what I have for my husband. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have my boys. Just because kids come into the picture I don't think dad should take a backseat. 


I don't want anyone to take this the wrong way because believe me, I will defend and fight for my kids until the end, but I am also not naive and one of those parents that thinks my kids can do no wrong. I've seen parent's get upset at teachers and neighborhood kids who aren't nice, and the parents think it's everyone else but their child. If my kids do something wrong we use it as a teachable moment, explain it so they understand it, and allow them the opportunity to do the right thing the next time around. I'm not saying we're perfect or any type of experts, but we also don't sweep things under the rug


Aside from all of the smiles, rewarding feelings, and experiencing a love that is indescribable, let's be real, motherhood can be HARD. It seems like just when you think you have it figured out or some sort of pattern down, all of the sudden things go south. I'm not going to lie, some days it feels easier to drop them off at daycare and then pick them up by 6pm. 


I think no matter if you choose to be a stay at home mom, a working mom, a partial working mom, or whatever other title is out there, I think we've all at some point or another felt guilty about our decisions. But oddly enough, the beautiful thing in all of this is, that we aren't alone. We can all probably relate on some level and the best thing is to not be afraid to reach out to each other or let someone know when you need a break or that it's just one of those days. Acting like you always have it all together only hurts yourself.


I think so many of us take on the role of motherhood and can become consumed with it. I'm not saying there is anything really wrong with that, but when it gets to a point that you feel guilty for even having a girls night, it might be time to question things. It's so important to have that time to feel like yourself and make meaningful connections with others or just sit in quiet and be. It's ok to be a little selfish from time to time. Just as I don't think the mom that takes off for a girls weekend without her kids is any less of a "good" mom than the one that couldn't even bear the thought of leaving her kids for a night. It's all about perspective and finding a balance that works for you. 


There is something about a mother's intuition that you can't even really describe. Even to this day my mom can take one look at me and ask me what's wrong, even if I'm smiling at her. It's the weirdest thing, but also an amazing thing. We figure our children out, and at some points, maybe even know them better than they know themselves.


To wake up everyday and put someone else's happiness, priorities, and feelings before your own. To teach your child the best that you can even if you aren't always sure what the best is. To constantly give yourself grace and know that tomorrow is another day to try even harder. To show your children all of the love there is to offer, because I truly believe there is nothing quite like a mother's love. 

So what about you, what's something motherhood has taught you? Even if you aren't a mom, yet, or you're a dog mom, a step mom, or a one day maybe I'll have kids person, what are your thoughts on motherhood?

Don't forget to check out some of the other bloggers and see how they are sharing their experiences.

Justine @ Little Dove Blog // @littledove.justine 
Jenise @ A Toddler & A Topknot // @atoddlerandatopknot 
Sierra @ Beautifully Candid // @beautifully_candid
Bethany @ Waves & Lilacs // @wavesandlilacs 
Mary Leigh @ Live Well Play Together // @livewellplaytogether
Whitney @ Work It Mommy // @thefamilysmith5
Shani @ Sunshine & Munchkins // @sunshineandmunchkins
Katie @ Thrifty Wife Happy Life // @thriftywifehappylife
Tamara @ Tamara Bratton Blog // @tamaraleebratton

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