Funny Things My Kids Have Said

Kids-Say-The Darndest-Things
It's been a while since I shared some of the funny things my kids have said, and if you have little ones, nieces, nephews, or spend 10 minutes around kids, then you know they come out with some pretty funny things. The best part is, it's usually unintentional because they are just learning the ropes, expanding their vocabulary, taking things literally, or getting phrases mixed up. And you know what? I'm here for it. It's those funny moments of parenting that add some comic relief in between those chaotic and crazy moments. It's always good to take some time to smile, laugh, and lighten up.

The last time I shared about some of the things my boys have said was back when I was pregnant. I was cracking up as I went back and read this. They came out with some pretty crazy things while I was pregnant and I loved hearing their little thoughts. It also made for some great memories and I can't wait to tell them some of this stuff when they're older. Here are a few things they've recently come out with...

I was recently talking to my mom about how much I love this time of year for fashion, oversized sweaters, and all the comfy clothes. I must have lost my mind for a split second and forgot that I'm a boy mom because I nonchalantly said, I love that it's bootie season! Well, wouldn't you know that my older two whipped their heads around so fast with this silly smirk on their faces, looked at each other and started cracking up, saying, booty season! Then they deiced to make jokes about it and say things like, mama, you're going to have your booty out. Booty season, why is it booty season? Do we get to take our pants off. Oh geez, the things they think are amusing. Don't worry though, I set them straight. I'm pretty confident no one will have a booty out in public. At least I can only hope.

The other day I was making eggs for breakfast and a lot of times the boys will like to help me in the kitchen. Lately A has been asking me a lot about food. What's in things, what animal is it, and so on. Honestly, I wouldn't be shocked if he decides he wants to be a vegetarian one day. So anyway, I'm at my counter cracking eggs, and he asks me about the yoke and baby chickens. He then thinks he has this great idea of how a baby gets in your belly. Apparently all someone needs to do is eat a chicken egg and then you are pregnant.

You know those things you once said you would never do before you became a parent? Well, for me it was let my kids have McDonald's. Fast forward to now being a parent and a few chicken nugget happy meals later, and here we are. We don't do it often, and the boys know it's a big treat when we do, but we were recently in the drive-thru and the boys like me to pull past to their window and let them unbuckle to hang out the window and take the bags of food from the workers. As I parked the car to get them situated back in their seats, little nugget says to me, mama! Now I know where Daniel Tiger works! I said, you do? I said to him, I didn't think he worked. He said, oh yes he does. He wears the same outfit as the McDonald's people. I guess that red sweater totally means you work at McDonald's. 

The batteries in our remote for the tv recently went and the boys couldn't get it to turn on. They helped themselves to our junk drawer to try and change the batteries, and while I can appreciate them being proactive, I now have no clue what batteries are good or bad, because they mixed them all together. Anyway, little nugget comes up to me and says that I need to get the tv detector. I asked him what he meant by that because I thought maybe he meant the guide on the tv (you never know how their little minds work). A confidently came over and said, no, no, no, he means the tv doctor. I quickly glanced over at the tv hoping they weren't insinuating they broke it. It looked like it was all intact and thankfully a switch of batteries fixed the whole thing.

Some of you might have seen that A lost his first tooth. There was a lot of excitement leading up to this milestone moment. It was loose for a few days before it fell out and we did ask him a lot if he wanted us to pull it, tie floss to the door knob, you know, all those tooth pulling ideas. The one night he did put floss around his tooth and tried to pull it out himself, but it still needed a little time. Little nugget came up to me and asked me, why does the sloth pull out his tooth? I said, the sloth? I honestly had no clue what he was talking about. I thought maybe I missed something and the tooth fairy was old news and now there's a sloth. But what he really meant, was floss.

I have to say, I am really proud and a bit surprised at how well they have had self control with their halloween candy. They haven't asked for it much, and if they do, it's for one piece. I can get down with that. I really think they might have been more excited to come home and sort it, than eat it. If they reached for anything in their bags it's been m&ms or nerds. Little nugget was chomping down on some when A realized he was fresh out of nerds. He asked if he could trade candy with his brother for a pack of nerves. I had to chuckle a little bit because I've never heard anyone refer to them as that, but I can see the confusion. He must have noticed that I made a reaction and said to me, what? I really like them. I said, I can see that, are nerds your favorite? He said, what's a nerd? I like the nerves. You know, like how you say things get on your nerves. I'm sure I made some goofy face and my eyes got big when he said that. Unfortunately he knows what it means to get on someone's nerves, but I also love that he has no clue what a nerd is, because nerds don't exist around here.

I've been trying to sporadically do things with the boys after school, like go to the park, go out for a treat, something out of the same normal routine. I decided we should go check out a new park but I wasn't exactly sure where it was at. I usually use Google maps for my gps but I didn't know where my phone was and wasn't going to go reaching all around while I was driving. I ended up using the gps in my car which I haven't done in awhile. Once you put in the address that you want to go to, mine will say, route guidance will now start. All of the sudden I hear cackling from the backseat with a small voice asking me, who's Ralph? I said, that's my grandpop (his name is Ralph, after all). A then says, well why is she talking about him on the radio? I was so confused for a minute. All I was trying to do was get us to the park, and apparently someone was talking about my grandpop. Wouldn't you know, route guidance is apparently Ralph guidance now. They also don't call it a gps, but ask if I need to use Ralph guidance, and I kind of like it.

Oh these silly kids. What are some funny things you've heard from little ones lately? 

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